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Stardate:        91117.83

Sol III Date:    06/07/2013/21:12

Things NOT to say at a Job Interview

• I’m sorry I’m yawning. I usually sleep until my soap operas are on.
• Do you know of any companies where I could get a job I would like better than this one?
• What job am I applying for?
• What is it you people do at this company anyway?
• Why aren’t you in a more interesting business.
• I would have been more successful if nobvo9dy would have snitched on me.
• My resume might make me look like I’m a job hopper. But IO want you to know I never left any of those jobs voluntarily.
• What are the Zodiac signs of the board members?
• Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?
• Would it be a problem is I’m angry most of the time?
• Will the company pay to relocate my horse?
• I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement.
• At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking.
• I feel uneasy indoors.
• I am fascinated by fire.
• Will anyone notice if I come in late and leave early?
• What does the company consider a good absenteeism rate?
• The job description mentions weekend work. Are you serious?
• Will my office be near an ice machine?
• How many warnings do you get before you are fired.
• My legs are really hairy.
• I never get hungry.
• I had haemorrhoids from sitting at the desk all day, but I found that taking a walk after lunch really helped me.
• How do you define Sexual Harassment?
• Why do you want the job? I’m here for a paycheque. Isn’t everybody?
• Where do you see yourself in five years? How am I suppose to know? Isn’t that your job?
• I think I'm going to throw up.

Post Script: We wish to thank the Breckenridge Zone for allowing the use of, and putting a different spin on, its new product. “How to ensure you blow the Job Interview”.